My wife was obese. When we were first married in our twenties, she was a few pounds overweight. As the years flew by, she began craving more sweets and trending toward larger portions of fattier foods. Every New Year's Day, she began a different diet along with a pledge to really be good during the ensuing year. By every February, she was back to her old habits. Twenty years later, she was 100 pounds overweight. A decade after that, she weighed 325 pounds and stood five foot six inches tall. I'll get back to her in a moment, but first, let's talk about you.
You are probably reading this article because: (a) it's the beginning of a New Year and you're overweight, (b) you really want some easy answers, (c) you're sick of dieting and exercise, or (d) you figure that someone must have a secret cure. Well, you've come to the right place. But first, my credentials.
No, I'm not a physician or fitness guru and my degree is in marketing. But rather I'm a student of human nature. I lived with an obese person for over 30 years and have an obese sister and brother-in-law. I, myself, have had slew of exercise equipment over the years, including treadmills, cycles, rowing machines, weights, elliptical trainers, and barbells. I take a variety of supplements and have had a gym membership. I've known nutritional experts and naturopaths. My weight hasn't varied more than 10 pounds in 20 years. But I have friends who struggle with the issue and I see more and more that are. I'm approaching 60 and realize that being fit can add years to my life. But enough about me. We're here to talk about you.
There are chemists and geneticists working on engineering chemicals to vaccinate against weight gain. Eventually, you may be inoculated at birth against excessive poundage. But that's a few decades off. In today's world, weight gain is almost inevitable. Restaurants offer prodigious portions. Snack foods abound. Fast food is never low-fat. Even low-fat, and low-carb foods are high in their sugar content. Soda is loaded with calories, as is beer and wine. So where does one turn? Fruit and fruit juices? Wrong because they are also caloric by nature. Can you live on celery or lettuce for extended periods because they are low in everything? Of course they are tasteless and unfulfilling. Ditto to some cereals and tofu. There must be a better way.
If you choose not to change your diet and the thought of exercise makes you want to throw up, perhaps you're on the right path. Anorexia will keep your stomach empty and allow you to eat whatever you want. Of course you may loose your teeth from the acidic reflux and have other side affects, but so what? You will loose weight. Fine, so that may not be the answer. Oprah has endorsed Hoodia, the latest wonder-drug. But long-term studies haven't proven it safe. No diet pill alone has ever done the trick.
Okay, I've teased you long enough. It's time to reveal the secret and crux of this article. But let me first return to my wife. She reached 325 pounds and, with her doctor's blessing, had gastric bypass surgery. Within the first three months, she lost 80 pounds. Within the first four months, she lost her life. She died at age 55 from a heart attack brought on by decades of obesity and the toll it took on her heart. Which brings me to the real secret. Death. It's the first three letters of "diet." There you have it. Now you will never gain weight and don't have to be bothered with all that stress of diet and exercise. After all, it worked for her. Now before I get hate email responses, let me explain.
I loved my wife dearly and tried to get her help. I watched her go through dozens of diets, to no avail. Surgery was her last chance, albeit, too late. Those of you that are reading this article are still alive and have many choices. I'm writing this as a word of warning and hope. Don't allow your weight problem to get out of hand. Take action right now and do the right thing. Rid your house of junk food, begin to take walks, and watch those portions. Forget pills, diet powders and so-called miracle cures. Make a lifestyle change and commit to a new and better you. That's the real secret to weight-loss success without sugar-coating it, pardon the pun.
Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree in teaching. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. He authored a book about his directory years, "Inside the Yellow Pages" which can be seen at his website, [http://www.poweradbook.com] and he is officially retired.
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